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Author Archive for Jaki Sabourin

Miracles Happen! Your Man is Looking for You | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· December 10, 2019 
· No Comments

Whether you’ve been single for a few days or a few years, it can sometimes feel like you’re NEVER going to find the right man. I remember years ago, before I met Michael, when I would start feeling down about finding someone I wanted to build a long-lasting relationship with, and all I wanted to do was cry.

At that time in my life, I really relied on having someone in my life to make me feel loved, worthy, and happy. Thankfully, I realized that I could be all of that on my own, yes without a man, so I could be who I was at my core and THEN call in the man I wanted in my life.

But when we are walking into a bar and seeing the same three guys sitting there or scrolling through a dating app and saying “nope, nope, nope,” you may wonder if you’re the only one looking. I mean, really, is your man even trying? Is he actively hunting for you?

When you say it out loud, it might seem comical! Women out there looking for the ideal man for them, and a room full of men just playing video games, waiting for women to find them!

But the truth is that your man is out there, right now!, looking for you, too. He really is.

(Did you grab my holiday gift to you,  “The Secret’s to Reading a Man’s Mind”?  Click here to access your gift now!)

Here are some tips for staying positive and attracting him, just in case he spots you before you spot him.

  • Everything happens in its own time. You may not feel like being patient, but you really have to be. If you aren’t in a loving relationship right now with a man who you want in your life for the long-haul, then chances are, you aren’t ready for him yet. Do a little work on yourself while you’re waiting. Enjoy spending time doing what lights you up. Spend time with your friends and family, and really embrace life. When you’re ready, he’ll come.
  • Stay distracted. Though the holidays tend to be the time when single women feel the loneliest, they are also the time with the most available distractions. Take your nieces and nephews to see a movie. Enjoy hot chocolate with your skiing friends. Volunteer at the Santa booth at the mall or the local soup kitchen. Write a list of things that light you up and try to work in at least one a week. Doing things that feed your soul, keep you laughing, and wear you out in a good way are the way to go when you’re waiting for your miracle.
  • Don’t book yourself into totally being unavailable. On the flip side of being distracted is the need to have a little down time too! Make sure you keep a couple evenings or weekend times open just in case you get an invite for cocktails or ice skating or whatever you’re into. Being busy is good, but booking up completely isn’t good either. Save space for dates, and they will eventually come along. Remember, he’s looking for you!

(Did you grab my holiday gift to you,  “The Secret’s to Reading a Man’s Mind”?  Click here to access your gift now!)

Enjoy the beautiful parts of the holiday season alone or with friends and family, and you will call him in soon enough!

Love,

Jaki

PS Don’t forget to grab my holiday gift to you,  “The Secret’s to Reading a Man’s Mind”?  Click here to access your gift now!)

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Categories : All About You

Beat Holiday Loneliness with These 2 Tips | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· December 3, 2019 
· 1 Comment

The lights, the sounds, the stores full of people! You know the holidays are upon us with all the bustle and activity going on!

But as a single woman, it can be tough seeing everyone gathering and celebrating when you feel alone.

I’ve been through some tough holidays myself where all I really wanted was for someone to hold me, invite me to their office party, or kiss me under the mistletoe.

(Did you grab my holiday gift to you,  “The Secret’s to Reading a Man’s Mind”?  Click here to access your gift now!)

If you’re feeling a little blue because you haven’t found the right man for you yet, I want to help by giving you some tips for beating the holiday loneliness and enjoying the season.

  • Accept all the invitations you get! Neighborhood dessert party? Whip up your grandmother’s secret recipe spice cake and go! Family feast? Grab a box of holiday poppers and let everyone be kids! Friendsgiving? Show up with your favorite wine and a smile on your face!

Show yourself that you know how to be happy and comfortable just being you, and enjoy meeting up with old friends and new acquaintances. Remember that we can’t attract new love if we are sitting home by ourselves feeling the weight of being alone. Take it upon yourself to lift your spirits and go jingle some bells in style!

You never really know when you’ll bump into a man you want to build a relationship with, and even if you don’t find him while you’re out, you can still have a fantastic time connecting and enjoying life!

  • Host a party yourself! Not getting the flood of invites that you had hoped for. That doesn’t mean you’re stuck watching Hallmark holiday movies for the next six weeks. Make a list of six people you’d like to get together with and start planning a party.

Set up your dining room for a game night. Host a spaghetti dinner. Rent your neighborhood clubhouse and karaoke machine. Make reservations at a restaurant. Get out your ugly sweaters. Get out your fancy hats. Pick a day. Pick a theme. And get started!

(Did you grab my holiday gift to you,  “The Secret’s to Reading a Man’s Mind”?  Click here to access your gift now!)

You can plan a small, intimate gathering, or you can ask your friends to invite their friends, too! The beauty of planning it yourself is that, well, you’re in charge! Make it anything you want! Better yet, make it exactly what you need to feel happy and excited for the holidays.

When we take charge of our social lives, we tell the Universe what we want. Adventure. Excitement. Peace. Love. Whatever it is you crave, make it happen now, and you’ll bring more of it into your life soon!

Love,

Jaki

Don’t forget – grab my holiday gift to you,  “The Secret’s to Reading a Man’s Mind.”  Click here to access your gift now!

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Categories : All About You, Create the Life You Want, Relationships
EAA 22 | Hot And Cold

He’s HOT/COLD | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· September 17, 2019 
· No Comments

EAA 22 | Hot And Cold

 

One day he comes on strong and totally into you. The next day, he becomes cold and confusing. How do you keep on playing this game when dating or in a relationship, or maybe, how do you stop the game? Sometimes, this kind of set-up only leads us at the losing end. We start to question ourselves in the process when the problem tends to not be our fault. Jaki hands us the key to understanding what is happening so we can free ourselves from the cycle of control and fear.

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Watch the episode here:

 

He’s HOT/COLD

I wanted to talk about when a guy comes on strong, he’s into you and then he goes cold and it causes a lot of confusion. I know you may have experienced this and it certainly is a game that gets played when you’re dating and in relationships and it’s dysfunctional. Let’s just go over what it is. One minute, things are going along. You’ve got this band here, you’re going back and forth and you feel something’s happening and you start enjoying the attention that you’re receiving from a man. The next thing you know, he pulls back and he withdraws into his cave and you’re left wondering, “What did I do?” You start to question yourself and think that you did something wrong. You start to go into thinking about what you said and what you did. This behavior is extreme when a man withdraws like that and it’s about power play whether you call it push and pull and hot or cold, it’s all the same. What it does is it leaves you feeling frustrated and confused.

Control

The key is to understand what’s happening so that if you feel caught into this cycle because it’s a pattern in a cycle, all about control and fear, then you can quickly recognize it for what it is. There are a couple of things you can do. You can use the skills and tools that I teach in my program to become more intimate about what’s happening and invite a conversation. That person that’s doing this, the man that’s doing this, is incapable or interested in having this conversation because he’s using this behavior as a way to control you. Whether it’s done consciously or unconsciously, what happens is it creates a longing and it creates a pursuit. As soon as he pulls away, it activates this feeling like, “I have to have him.” What you want to do is reach out and pursue. That’s usually what you do. You go, “I’m just going to send him a quick little text and see what he’s up to.” You might make up some excuse like, “He’s just busy at work.” Some of these rational lies that we tell ourselves to try to justify this emotional unavailability.

If you're in this tug of war with the man, the best thing you can do is walk away. Click To Tweet

You might say that he’s sorting out his last relationship or he’s busy at work. He’s got a big project or his kids need him right now. Those are all rational lies that your mind tells you in order to prevent you from seeing what’s going on because your mind is trying to protect you from any painful experiences. In a way, what happens is your mind is protecting you but it’s keeping out some valuable information. I know you’re going to remember this and it’s going to help you in the future. There’s that saying, “Flee and they follow, follow and they flee.” This is what happens. There is this push and pull that happens. What happens is when you start to get close to somebody and things are going well and there are some mutual affection and some attention, you enjoy that and it feels good and you want more of that. It starts to make you long for some relationship stability. You do want that. You start to move in that direction.

What happens is when a man pulls away, it creates an automatic response in you to chase him because you want to get back into this feeling. You want to be the object of his affection and his attention that felt good. This phase is like a corral. It’s the hot phase and it’s designed to get you in the gate that leads to the corral where later you’ll be harnessed. I read that on the internet. It’s created to get the hook in your mouth and you win. That’s the hot phase. The cold phase is designed to make you long for more attention so that you’ll pursue. Both of the phases are dysfunctional. When you get into this phase with a man, you may not realize it but what you’ve done by pursuing a man is you’ve submitted to a man’s emotional and psychological need to control you. A lot of that comes from needing to control to feel safe. I’m not necessarily saying it’s bad, it’s just definitely something you need to be aware of so that you can cope with it. It’s a dance and it has a cycle. It’s like this push and pull.

Comfort And Discomfort; Power And Intimacy

He’ll pull away, you’ll pursue him and then he’ll back up. You’ll back up and then he’ll come towards you and it goes on and on until you become aware of the pattern. There is a difference between when a relationship has a little hiccup, when you’re first seeing each other and you like each other and you’re starting to feel vulnerable. Those are normal healthy feelings. It’s natural to feel for a man to maybe withdraw and maybe consider his position and consider his feelings. When that happens and you have a certain level of intimacy, then you want to invite a conversation and ask that man to talk to you about the pulling away. You want to create more intimacy in that moment and not more distance because if there’s distance then it’s just a game. When you’re in a relationship and a man is emotionally invested in you, then he’s going to want to have that conversation with you even though it’s an awkward conversation.

What happens is you’ll go from a phase of comfort and then you’ll get closer and then you go through a phase of discomfort because your zone is growing. You’re out of your comfort zone. You’ll go from comfort to discomfort back to comfort again, only your zone has grown and that’s called a paradigm shift. If you go from comfort to discomfort and you don’t go back to that zone again, then that means that the relationship is not going to develop. A man that’s playing that hot and cold game has burst of hot but it doesn’t result in any forward momentum. That’s the problem. It’s a game. It’s hot and cold and that’s exciting for them because they have this control over you, but the root cause of this behavior is it’s a desperate attempt to gain control over the uncontrollable and it’s love. He is trying to gain control over the uncontrollable which is love.

A man that’s wanting to play it safe is never going to allow himself to experience love. He’s going to dip his toe into that pool and he’s going to toy around with it, but he’s never going to commit to it because he’s too afraid of getting hurt. He has trust issues. He has fear of intimacy and you can’t continue to pursue him because you just push them further away. It makes us feel that a man has all the power, but the real power is in the intimacy. Real power is in intimacy and your ability to maintain contact in an intimate way. That’s where the real power comes. If you have that inner strength and confidence, you don’t have any fear of being open and honest with him when he pulls away because you know and you recognize that this is an opportunity to get closer. If he doesn’t take that opportunity, that’s a sure sign that he’s playing the game. He’s exerting that control so that he cannot get hurt, not get his feet wet, not jumping into the pool with you and go swimming into the deep end.

He’s going to play it safe and that’s dysfunctional especially if you’re looking for a relationship and a life partner. Just having an awareness about this game is going to help you because when it happens to you, you’re going to recognize it for what it is. That’s how you turn the table in your favor is by recognizing it. I talked to one of my clients and she reached out to me and I wanted to give her some support. She’s working in my program and she said that she’s dating a man. They’ve got close and she talked to him about what she was looking for and what she wants in long-term. She wants to get married and have children. He said that he didn’t think he would be ready for that and she said, “That’s what I want. Now that you know, you can reach out to me or not but I’m not going to pursue you.” He said, “Okay, fair enough.” A couple of days went by and he called her and she’s at dinner, so she answers the phone. She has a quick chat with him. He just called to say hi and that’s when she called me and she’s like, “What should I do?” She goes, “I think I’m going to send him a text tomorrow morning.” I’m like, “No, this is exactly what’s going on. He’s doing this hot and cold behavior.”

EAA 22 | Hot And Cold

Hot And Cold: A man that’s wanting to play it safe is never going to allow himself to experience love.

 

He waits three days, he calls her and then it initiates that yearning and that longing to be the center of his attention again where she’s giving up her own ability to nurture and take care of her emotional needs. She’s looking for another person, some external source for that so she gets back into the game. The system kicks in again and there goes the pattern. She’s going to send him a text and now they’re back in this dance. Another two weeks will go by and that’s what happens. You lose time and that’s why you want to be aware of this and make sure that you don’t get stuck in it. If you are, know that this awareness of reading to this blog, if it’s resonating with you, this is your first step in changing and shifting that pattern and stepping into something more functional for yourself.

Once you recognize the pattern, you gain freedom from it. If you are in this pattern, know that all you have to do is stop contacting him and wait long enough for him to come back around if he’s going to and you’ll have your answer or you can simply set an appointment to talk to him. That’s what I think is the most functional. Say, “Do you have a few minutes tomorrow night? I’d love to sit down and talk to you a little bit about what’s going on.” If he makes that appointment, then you have something. You have someone that’s not afraid to be intimate and real because that’s what it’s all about. This person doesn’t want to be real. He just wants to play a game. It’s important that you ask these questions and that’s why it’s important and I encourage all of you to ask as many questions as you can before you get emotionally invested. It’s so much easier from that place to be curious about somebody and why they do what they do.

Playing Tug-Of-War

I’m going to be offering tons of support answering these questions and creating a lot of training about all these different scenarios in my program, my Engaged at Any Age year-long program that I am sending out emails and creating training and create this invitation so that we can work together. I’m very passionate about helping all of you become more intimate in your relationship so that you can have that deep, juicy, soulful relationship that all of you are reaching out to me and telling me you want. It’s going to require a little work. You’re going to have to shift out of your comfort zone and step out of that fearful place that you’re at and take some emotional risk. The bigger the risk, the bigger the game.

If you’re in this tug of war with a man, the best thing you can do is walk away. Cut your losses. Your time is better spent with someone who’s more functional. If you ask for that conversation and you get a reaction of anger or defensiveness or they’re giving you a guilt trip saying, “I’m working a lot.” This is revealing a lot to you so you want to ask those questions and take note of their response. If he doesn’t respond to you or shuts down, there’s information in that that you need to look at. Make sure you go ahead and ask the question. Have the courage to ask the question. If you don’t get a response, then that’s your answer. That person doesn’t have the skill set to have the type of relationship that you want because you just use a lot of emotional courage to ask these questions in the first place. You’re making yourself vulnerable to him so that you can go deeper. If he doesn’t respond to that, then that lets you know something that you need to know about that man.

Extended Travel Experiences

Anybody that’s straightforward and honest is somebody that you want to be in a relationship with. Anybody that is playing games in lieu of the ability to be real is not somebody that you want to be in a relationship with. I have some questions here, “He stopped calling. I was reaching out and still being open. I offered to talk but he’s avoided it repeatedly. I want a man who wants me and is clear that he wants me. He’s the one who brought all the commitment talks at day one that’s why I opened it up in the beginning?” There’s nothing you can do and there’s nothing you should do because he’s made it clear that he’s not interested in going deeper. He’s in fear. He got triggered and he’s afraid. That’s what you know for sure.

What is he going to do with that fear? He’s either going to remain out of contact with you or he’s going to step forward. You need to know that information about him. That’s telling you a lot about how he’s going to be in a relationship with you. As painful as it is when someone does this, it lets you know the level of intimacy that they’re capable of at the moment. I would say you got close with him but your timing’s off. Don’t get discouraged. Look at this as like, “I attracted somebody and we got close. I’m one step closer because I made myself vulnerable and I know how to do that.” I want you to continue to practice that level of vulnerability because when you do that, there’s strength in it. Because you’re being honest and you’re speaking your truth of what you want. The universe will rise up and meet you with the match to that vibration. That’s why you don’t want to pull back and shut your heart down. You will have to let this one go so the next one can come in. That’s what I want you to do.

Here’s the question that I want to answer. A gal wants to know, she has photos of extended travel experiences in India, Iceland, Italy, walking through Portugal, a month-long stay in the Netherlands. Is that too much?” I would say yes. That’s too much to put on your profile because you could trigger the scammers. It would trigger a scammer so I wouldn’t put all of that. One or two pictures of travel. You want to create enough intrigue for them to reach out to you but not give them the whole story. If you’re oversharing in your profile, it could intimidate men or invite those scammers to pursue you and you don’t want that. That’s an overshare. That information is what you want to leave your date. Don’t overshare on your profiles because you’ll invite some drama and you don’t want that.

Your emotional health and wellness is your responsibility. It's not a man's job to make you feel better. Click To Tweet

The other question that she had, someone writes on your photos and they comment on them and she responds back with a pleasant manner and then that’s it. Here’s the problem with that, when somebody makes a comment on your pictures, on your profile, that’s an awesome opportunity for you to ask a question back. I had this I woman I talked to and she said that there was a man with a picture of his dogs. She commented on his dogs and I said, “What did you say?” She said, “I love that breed. That’s one of my favorite breed of dogs.” I’m like, “That’s it?” She didn’t ask a question that begs for an answer. I’m like, “You missed an opportunity.” Make sure you’re asking questions. If he makes a comment on your profile like, “Nice dress or great legs or whatever.” You can say, “That dress brings back a lot of great memories. I was up in San Francisco when I bought it. Have you been to the city?” or something like that. Lead it into a conversation so that he has to respond to you and answer your question. Use those comments on your pictures to create more banter that will hopefully lead to a date. It’s always questions. Ask a lot of questions and that’s how you’ll get answers and connection.

Reaching Out To A Man

The next question is, “Is it okay to reach out to a man on a dating site?” “Absolutely.” That’s what it’s all about. You’ve got to get good at this banter. When you’re reaching out to a man on a dating site, it’s not a date it’s like flirting with a man on a networking event. You’re just saying, “How are you? What’s Your Business? What’s the best thing that happened to you this week?” You strike up conversations with strangers. You’re not getting courted until they ask you out but you can tee it up. You can let them know that you’re interested by engaging them on instant messaging and by sending an email. You send an email and it’s just a little note. It’s a question and a comment. You look at their profile and comment. Maybe they’re leaning up against a cool car. It seems that men love to put pictures of them leaning up against a cool car. You can say something about the car and then ask him a question. Ask him a question like, “How fast does that car can go?” Ask questions and be playful about it.

These questions need to be lighthearted and fun and almost teasing a little bit. A little mischievous. A little good banter goes a long way because it’s already awkward enough. You are flirting with a perfect stranger but what you’ll do is intrigue them enough to reach out and continue the conversation. I recommend doing this on instant message. It’s a good way to practice if you’re feeling sensitive, shy, and nervous about doing that. A good place to practice is instant messaging on your dating sites. What you do is you’ll just practice sending little notes to men that are online at the same time you are. With the intention of going back and forth a little bit and then saying, “I’ve got to run. Nice talking to you.” Get off the call, get off the instant messenger and then leave it up to them to contact you. They looked at your profile, they know how to get ahold of you. I would do this three or four times when you’re online, but the key is to only do it with men that are online at the same time that you’re online.

EAA 22 | Hot And Cold

Hot And Cold: Don’t overshare on your profiles because you’ll invite some drama you would not want.

 

Power In Triggers

You don’t want to send emails to people that aren’t online. I recommend you do that as well but this is a strategy to help you get out of your comfort zone to create engagement and to have fun with it and you’re not looking for them to ask you out. You’re saying, “I’ve got to run. Great connecting.” Give him a little wink and then that’s it. It’s up to them to pursue you but you’ve set it up. I recommend this because it will help you to desensitize yourself about this whole dating process. I know it triggers a lot of fear and a lot of fear of rejection. That’s what it triggers and bring it on. Let those triggers come up because there’s power in those triggers. There’s information in those triggers. Your emotional triggers tell you something about you that you need to look at. You want to ask yourself this question, “What do my emotional triggers tell me about me?” If you’re triggered, then it’s something that’s going on inside of you. Usually, it’s a fear of rejection. Don’t reject yourself in the process. When you feel that, you want to look and ask yourself, “What is going on with me? What is my emotional trigger trying to tell me about me?” Ask yourself, “What am I feeling?”

Follow it to its source. Get to the bottom of it. Get to the root cause of what makes you feel that way because it can be very disempowering. If you don’t take action to feel better, then it’s on you. That is your responsibility. Your emotional health and wellness is your responsibility. It’s not a man’s job to make you feel better, it’s yours. What Michael and I have is I’ll take care of me for you and you take care of you for me and that’s a highly functional way to look at dating. Your emotional needs are just that. They’re your emotional needs so when you feel those needs come up, make sure you meet them and don’t abandon yourself in the dating process and then have the audacity to blame men for your emotional instability. The dating process is a fabulous way to do a lot of deep emotional work because it brings up a lot of things that you need to clear up anyway. You’re becoming a highly functional and emotionally mature woman and you’re getting a man at the same time. I say that that’s fantastic and it’s going to take as long as it takes.

Practice Receiving

The sooner you start working through these emotional triggers and understanding the game of hot and cold, the better you’re going to be in a relationship and the more space you can hold for that relationship. Let me answer this one last question. “I let a guy open the door for me this week. I felt proud because you popped into my mind while your voice was always saying, practice receiving and let men do things for you.” Yes, receive, “I receive. I receive. I receive.” That’s the mantra. Let a man come to you. You can drop the hanky, do that online flirting, but make sure that you are allowing what you’re asking for to come in by not pursuing men because they will pursue. They love a good chase. Give him one. Give them a run for their money and they’ll love that. The more you do that, the more fun it is for everybody and the more potential for a relationship. Because men love a challenge and they want to win you. When you don’t stay in receiving mode, they can lose interest.

It feels good to have a man step into his power. They want to step into their power and if we don’t hold that space, then we disempower them by acting on opening our doors and getting things that they can get for us. You want to keep that balance in the feminine-masculine energy moving along beautifully by staying in your receiving mode. I’m going to leave you with the mantra, “I receive,” because you’re worth it and you deserve it. You deserve to have everything you want. There is nothing that you should or shouldn’t want. You should expect to get what you want. That’s what I want you to hear. Expect to get what you want but you have to ask for it. I hope this was helpful. Thank you for being here. Please send me your questions so that I can make more training videos for you. Lots of love.

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Categories : Episodes
Tags : connection, Control, dating, Hot And Cold, intimacy, relationship

Week 5 The Wrap Party | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· September 3, 2019 
· No Comments

You’ve seen her. She’s walking down the street by herself. A swing in her step. A radiant smile on her face. Not a care in the world.

Everyone notices her because in a sea of people rushing to work while looking at their phones, this woman is HAPPY.

She’s enjoying the moment. She’s engaged with life. She’s present and grateful, and it shows!

The most attractive people on this earth are the ones who are madly in love with their LIFE! Everyone wants to be around someone who is positive, fun and passionate!

That characteristic stems from a healthy self-worth and a true appreciation of our CURRENT REALITY.

I remember a time when I was so sad. I had pretty much given up on love. All I could think about was the fact that I had failed at love and even though quite a bit of time had passed, I was STILL alone! My focus seemed to be on everything I didn’t have. And not surprisingly, that just made me feel worse. Gloomy. Not at all like the woman I described above!

Then I realized something. One night, as I sat outside by the ocean, I felt extreme gratitude for the beauty of that moment. And I realized how blessed I was. Alone for the moment, yes. But extraordinarily blessed.

I started LIVING. And it didn’t take long for a handsome, dashing man named Michael to take notice. He has always said that he noticed my spark and my energy first! Less than two years from that night at the ocean, we were married.

Love your life NOW, exactly as it is and you will find that people can’t take their eyes off of you!

Here are just a few ways you can squeeze joy out of life and flip your attraction switch to “ON!”

  1. Be endlessly curious. Always keep learning. Ask questions. Engage in deep and interesting conversations!
  2. Take a class. There has to be something that you’ve always wanted to try. Painting, sewing, mountain climbing, whatever! Get out there and test your limits with a group of like-minded people!
  3. Learn a foreign language. You don’t have to become fluent. Just pick a language and learn to say “hello,” “goodbye,” “I love you,” and “wow, you’re handsome!”
  4. Take a trip to somewhere you’ve never been. Go to a local map, close your eyes and point. Not only is this a great way to meet new people, but it will prove to you that you are an adventurer!
  5. Make a blessings list. List everything in your life that you are grateful for. Your health, your clothes, the roof over your heard, your shiny hair, your genius IQ, etc. Gratitude is a POWERFUL catalyst for joy!
  6. Make a list of all the things you can do now that you could NOT do in a relationship. What’s actually great about being single?

Here are just a few things that my clients have said:

I currently have full control over the TV remote!

I can spend a Sunday in sweat pants and not worry about anyone seeing me!

I miss sex, but for now, it’s nice to be able to take up the entire bed with NO pressure to perform!

Cooking for one! And sometimes it’s cereal for dinner!

I have NO schedule and no one to answer to. If I want to make last minute happy hour plans with the girls, or workout after work, I can!

Your turn! Take a minute to reflect on your day to day to life. What do you love to do now that might be tricky if you were in a relationship?

This exercise is just one more way to help you feel grateful and blessed and happy. And as you might remember, a happy, radiant, grateful woman is absolutely irresistible!

Congratulations. You’ve taken the 5-Week Summer Love Party Challenge. You’ve laid the fertile soil for love to grow. You have cleared your energy, opened your heart and built the foundation for a solid, committed, blissful relationship.

Practice these 5 things daily. Embody them. Live them! And soon, without even realizing how easy it was, you’ll fall madly in love.

Thank you for spending this time with me!

Much love,

Jaki

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Categories : All About You, Confidence, Feminine Essence

Week 4 The Big Reveal | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· August 27, 2019 
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There’s one thing that none of us ever seem to have enough of.

And it’s the one thing we wish we had an endless supply of.

Time.

Time flies! No relationship is a waste of time (they all teach us something) but it can certainly save us time if we don’t fall into the trap of being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t actually meet most of our ideal man requirements!

Sure, we want to be a tad flexible. I know a lot of women who are happily married to people who weren’t necessarily their “type.”

But as a general rule, we want to have a clear picture of the exact man we want to attract for two reasons:

Knowing exactly who our ideal man is helps us recognize him when he walks through the door.

And clearly picturing him and feeling his energy sets the Law of Attraction in motion, magnetizing our love right to us!

You may have read my book Single to Committed, 7 Steps to Attract and Keep the Love of Your Life! In that book, I outline an exercise that guides you to mentally and emotionally creating your ideal man. It’s a blueprint for custom-designing your soul mate! It’s fun, and it’s necessary!

Fill in the blanks below as truthfully as you can.

Honesty is KEY here. If your ideal man is independently wealthy, write it down. If he has a full head of hair, write it down. Don’t worry about appearing shallow. NO one sees this but you, and you want to be honest so you don’t waste your time on someone who will never share the same values and goals that you hold dear!

Fill in the blanks:

  • I want a man who is….
  • My man enjoys…..
  • The most important things to my man are….
  • If I had to describe his looks I would say that he……
  • His most attractive qualities are…..
  • The values he holds dear are….
  • People often say that he is….
  • What I love most about him is that he makes me feel….

There you have it. Your custom-made haute couture man! Look at this list every single day or night. See him. Feel his energy around you and before you know it, he will be real!

See you next week for our final party!

Jaki

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Categories : All About You, Confidence, Feminine Essence

Week 3 The Velvet Rope | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· August 20, 2019 
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Love is a funny thing. It quickens the heart and makes our palms sweat. Love can turn even the most confident, self-assured people into puddles of nervous mush! Love asks us to be vulnerable and open and yet it offers no guarantees!

Love asks us to bare our hearts and souls, to leap without a net and to walk through a door that leads to a place we cannot yet see.

And the only promise it makes us is that it COULD be the pathway to the love of our lives.

Isn’t that amazing??! Love MAKES us courageous. Sure the door might slam shut. But then again, it might not. It might lead us to our soulmate and to our happily ever after.

We are willing to take a chance because the “maybe” being offered to us is worth the risk.

My friends who are actors learn that even the auditions that are total flops are NOT failures. The actors learn something about themselves. They learn what to do differently. And perhaps this is most important.

Remember, there is no such thing as failure. Even if we take a risk and things don’t work out, we have gathered valuable information and the benefit of a practice run!

I have a challenge for you. I want you to take a little step just outside of your comfort zone; just left of what you would normally do!

Below are a few things you can try to prove to yourself that it’s ok to take risks! The world won’t end and you just might surprise yourself.

Here goes:

  1. Call someone you don’t know. It can be someone you have been wanting to connect with for your business or a random name from the phone book. (Assuming some people out there still have a good old fashioned phone-book.) Even if you just end up saying that you have the wrong number, just call!
  2. Hold eye contact. When you see a man in public, hold his gaze and smile for a FULL 5 seconds. Eye contact doesn’t have to be uncomfortable. It can be incredibly intimate. In fact, make sure you find your target attractive because this is a powerful attraction method.
  3. Pay for the dinner of someone you don’t know. Next time you are in a restaurant, while you are still sitting there (as opposed to when you are leaving!) pay for the dinner or dessert of someone else sitting near you. They will likely come over to thank you, which allows you to have a nice conversation with a complete stranger. Just tell them that someone did something nice for you, and you were simply paying it forward.
  4. Ask for something for free. Doesn’t matter if you don’t get it! Buying something from the farmer’s market? Say, “Will you throw in a free apple?” Bartering with credit card company? Say, “Any chance I could get one month interest free?” Again it doesn’t matter if they say “no,” but they just might say “yes”!
  5. Eat out alone. Awesome, gutsy people have no problem eating alone. And it just might open the door for someone to fill the empty chair beside you.
  6. Publicly declare your hidden dream! Tell your friends, tell your co-workers, post it on Facebook. Let the world know what your biggest, juiciest daydream really is!
  7. Say “hi” and smile at every person you pass on the street. Not only does this stretch your comfort zone a bit, but it puts you in a position of BECOMING love. And you might just make someone else’s day! You never know who might have needed that simple kindness from you.

That’s it! Simple tricks for unlocking the feminine essence of courage! Love is quite possibly the riskiest adventure we will ever take. It is also, without a doubt, the most rewarding!

See you next time,

Jaki

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Categories : All About You, Confidence, Feminine Essence

Week 2 Ladies Night Out | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· August 13, 2019 
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Who doesn’t love a good Ladies’ Night out! Remember when we were younger? We would get so excited about our nights out. I remember putting on music and spending hours getting ready, anticipating what the night might hold or who I might meet!

Here’s the truth:

You are radiant. You are sexy. And no matter what your journey has been like, that young, eager woman within is still there! I am going to show you a step-by-step way to reconnect to her!

Let me explain why this is important—A woman who is fully tapped into her feminine essence is totally irresistible!

We send out certain signals, certain energies even when we aren’t trying to. Connecting to the passionate woman within ensures that the signals you are sending are the right ones! The ones that say “Hey handsome! I’m here. I’m ready. Where are you taking me to dinner next week?”

There is no young or old version of you. There’s just YOU. Your pure essence. And the hopes, dreams, emotions and desires that make you unique.

The version of you that you remember so fondly? She’s still there. And you can call on her energy any time!

Here are some fun, step by step things you can do to unleash the REAL you!

  1. Think back to a time in your life when you felt MOST alive! When did you feel full of passion, full of life and enthusiasm? Re-visit that memory. Use all 5 of your senses. Feel it. See it. Smell it. That woman you are re-visiting, the one who is smiling and full of confidence, is still there. Still you. Recall this memory any time you need a pick-me-up.
  2. Put on your birthday suit! That’s right. Take off your clothes. Look in the mirror. Lounge around your room. Do laundry. Whatever! But allow yourself to be naked! SEE how miraculous your body is. See your curves, your softness, your strong muscles. Notice the things about your body that are beautiful. This is you. And it’s gorgeous. I encourage you to spend at least five or ten minutes a day in nothing but the body you were blessed with! (A lot of women want to skip this step but please don’t. It’s so important!)
  3. Put on some music and move! It doesn’t matter if you can’t dance. No one is judging. Feel the music. Move to it. Allow your body to lead you however it wants to go. Close your eyes and light some candles and feel the rhythm!
  4. Take a bath using beautiful bath salts or bubble bath light candles or incense. If you don’t have a bathtub, treat yourself to a long warm shower using a fragrant scrub or body wash. Take extra time to nurture your body with whatever lotions, potions and creams you have on hand! Give your hair a deep conditioning and leave it in longer so you have ultra-soft hair. This is pure self-nurturing, and it feels great!

I promise that if you commit to these practices, you are going to feel more alive, more passionate, and more READY to open up to a potential lover.

See you next week.

Jaki

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Categories : All About You, Confidence, Dating, Feminine Essence

Meet Trailblazer Jaki Sabourin

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· August 12, 2019 
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Today we’d like to introduce you to Jaki Sabourin.

So, before we jump into specific questions about the business, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
I spent 25 years in spiritual and self-discovery while living on the magical island of Maui. It was in this transcendental environment that I began my training as a Communication Specialist, and immersed myself deeply into the studies of meditation and personal awareness.

It was during that journey that I experienced a breakdown in my first marriage, which left me as a single mother with two children to nurture while healing myself. That challenge brought with it the most significant growth discoveries as I came to understand the blocks that were holding me back from receiving love, money, and happiness.

When I moved to La Jolla in 2010, I committed to breaking through those blocks and developed the formula that allowed me create a life with the man of my dreams!

I had to get self-aware. I had to learn to master my thoughts and to embrace my femininity. I followed specific steps that took me on a journey of self-discovery and passionate love. And now, I am sharing those steps with women all over the world.

We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc. – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
No! My personal journey was littered with self-help obstacles! I had to get good at overcoming obstacles. In life, there will always be twists and turns along the way. Accepting this fact and embracing it is very empowering.

When I launched my online virtual coaching company in 2010, I didn’t have the faintest idea of how to use a virtual platform. I knew I had to reach as many women as possible. I went through an intense learning curve, which was rewarding in so many ways. If you are willing to step out of your comfort zone, you can achieve anything with the right mindset, accountability, and support.

The key to success is belief. Your beliefs create your reality. If you have a big belief, you will take big actions and have big results. Similarly, if painful relationships experiences have influenced your beliefs, you will most likely take little action and have no results.

Overcoming my own challenges has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done.  It’s given me the  skillset to teach women to consistently overcome their challenges so they can experience what’s possible for their life and relationships.

Please tell us more about what you do, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
I am an Executive Love Coach, Keynote Speaker, founder and CEO of Engaged at Any Age®, a Company that teaches women how to create conscious love.

I’m known for being the “man whisperer” due to my success at teaching women to understand themselves first, which leads to connecting on a deeper level with a man! I teach women to use a “feather” instead of a “sledgehammer” with men, which results in more harmonious relationships based on the foundation that “good relationships are just a conversation away.”

My practical no-nonsense attitude has led to hundreds of my clients meeting their ideal match.  My philosophy is that “I am my own first client”.  I embody the skillset I teach and am a role model for women everywhere.  My husband and I have a relationship that is built on honesty, integrity, and mutual respect.

I have a popular “YouTube” channel “Engaged at Any Age” where I have hundreds of free training videos to support women on their journey to love.

We’re interested to hear your thoughts on female leadership – in particular, what do you feel are the biggest barriers or obstacles?
I feel the only barriers in female leadership in my industry are the ones that we impose on ourselves.
If you have a strong work ethic, clear mission statement, and plenty of passion, anything is possible!

I think it’s a remarkable time for entrepreneurial female leaders. With the internet and social media, you can achieve your dreams much faster than ever before.

I love to give back to women by recruiting and training my clients to work as coaches in my company once they complete my course. It’s truly a blessing to watch women transform their lives because it creates a ripple effect of wholeness, balance, and self-empowerment!  That’s what get’s me out of bed every day!

Article re-posted from SDVoyager

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