Last week I met with some girlfriends for dinner and the subject of dating came up. We started talking about how dating USED to go:
You meet someone you like.
You smile at them for a few weeks, shyly look away.
Eventually they would work up the nerve to speak.
But things are different now. Now, thanks to social media, the courting process that used to take months can progress in just hours!
Facebook allows people to know a LOT about us in a very short time, sometimes before the first conversation has even happened.
But here’s the truth- we can’t change what’s happening in the social sphere, but the qualities of courtship remain the same.
If you find yourself tinkering with dating sites, being approached on Facebook or maybe even doing a little google search background check of your own, remember these tried and true facts about successful dating:
- Listen. I read a story once about a dinner party. A celebrity remarked that one particular guest was the most fascinating woman in the room. When asked what she said to draw that kind of response from such a star, she replied, “Nothing. I said nothing. I just listened to him all night.” Keen interest in the other party, genuine questions, unwavering enthusiasm for their answers, will always be attractive.
- Give only some Sneak peaks. Take a cue from Hollywood on this one. They release movie trailers months before the movie shows up at the box office. They give 30-60 hints about the plot, just enough to pique our interest. Same goes for dating. With so much info readily available save a little for PROGRESS. As you reveal things, little by little, you create “moments” and “firsts.” The first time you revealed a secret. The first time you showed your soft side etc. Leave a little room for “firsts.”
- Be open minded. Just because you’ve never been to a drag race doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be a blast! Being open minded sets you up for new experiences, new adventures, new opportunities for passion and fun. And when you are in that space, the energy is primed for CONNECTION!
It doesn’t matter whether your new guy came from the grocery store, the bar, or twitter. The classic rules of dating will always apply!