It’s time for some tough love.

This story is inspired by a woman I recently met who is emotionally stuck in a frustrating cycle of disappointment. Like so many, she deeply desires a loving relationship and family, yet she’s locked in a pattern that’s keeping her from it.

You know the type: she’s been dating a guy on and off for years. She’s cried more tears over him than she can count, but still, she keeps going back. Every single time, she convinces herself this time will be different. But here’s the reality—it’s always the same.

Let’s get real, sister. That pattern of running back to someone who doesn’t meet your needs is not a coincidence. It’s a choice. If this feels like your story, it’s time to ask yourself the hard question: What am I doing to create this?

Here’s the truth—men don’t just treat you however they feel like. You’re teaching them how to treat you based on the energy you bring, the boundaries you set (or fail to set), and the behavior you tolerate.

Pattern 1: The People-Pleasing Trap

This woman gives everything, hoping that if she just loves him enough, he’ll finally step up. She says yes to whatever scraps of attention he tosses her way because she’s too scared to lose him. But in the process, she’s already lost herself. When you give everything without asking for anything in return, you’re sending a loud and clear message: he doesn’t need to step up—because you’ll stick around regardless.

Solution: Stop settling for breadcrumbs. It’s time to get crystal clear on your worth and raise your standards. If he can’t meet them, you walk. Yes, it’s tough. Yes, it’s scary. But staying in a situation that’s draining your energy and chipping away at your self-worth is so much worse.

Pattern 2: The “One Day” Illusion

She’s convinced that one day things will magically change. Maybe he’ll commit. Maybe he’ll stop ghosting her. Maybe he’ll finally start treating her the way she deserves. But sister, let me hit you with some truth—“one day” is a fantasy. If a man has shown you who he is, believe him the first time.

Solution: Live in the present, not in a fantasy future. If his actions today don’t align with your vision of a healthy relationship, it’s time to face reality. Stop making excuses for him. He’s not your project. He’s a man with free will, and he’s choosing not to treat you better.

Pattern 3: The Emotional Rollercoaster

Every week, there’s new drama. Tears, fights, long emotional texts, followed by the makeup phase. But that constant emotional chaos is a major red flag. If you’re living on the rollercoaster of highs and lows, chances are you’re addicted to the drama—not the love. That rush of emotional intensity might feel exciting, but it’s not the kind of love that’s built to last.

Solution: Get off the ride. Love doesn’t need to feel like a soap opera to be real. In fact, healthy love is consistent, stable, and peaceful. If that sounds boring, it’s time to ask yourself why you’re chasing drama instead of peace. Start cultivating calm within yourself, and you’ll attract a man who brings more of that into your life.

If this is resonating with you, good. It means we’re hitting the nail on the head.

You don’t have to stay in this cycle any longer. I know you’re craving something more—something real, something lasting. But here’s the kicker: you have to break the pattern. You’ve got to set new boundaries, get clear on what you want, and own your personal power. You are worth it, sister—you’ve just got to believe it.

Tough love? Yes. But sometimes that’s exactly what it takes to shake you awake and get you living the life you truly want. It’s time to change the story, and I’m here to guide you every step of the way.

With love,

Jaki

PS: Take the Soulmate Assessment and find out how close you are to attracting your soulmate!