I know you’ve seen plenty of articles about what to watch out for when you’re dating – actions and emotions that come up as red flag warnings to alert you that maybe this ISN’T your dream man.
That’s all well and good, but why invest more time in a bad relationship than you need to? Instead of waiting for the red flags, watch out for these more subtle signs that you might want to move on!
- Communication Issues: When your man does or says something that bothers you, are you comfortable saying so? Would he tell you if the situation were reversed? If you find yourself holding back or walking on eggshells, that’s a signal that all isn’t as it should be. And you know it in your gut! Think about it – can you see yourself going the distance with someone that you can’t be honest with? I talked last time about the importance of relaxing in a relationship. A communication barrier is not compatible with relaxation! Don’t do it.
- Lack of Deep Discussions: No, not every conversation has to be about solving world problems. Go ahead and chat about celebrity gossip if you want to! But as a relationship continues, the two of you DO need to develop a deeper connection about your world views, your religion, your values and what’s important to you. This is critical for growing strong roots that create stability and growth for the long term. If ALL your conversations stay at the shallow end, or he seems to get uncomfortable if you tip toe into depth, watch out…and get out!
- Lack of touch: You need to have affection in your relationship! I’m not just talking about the obvious here either. I’m talking about the energy behind your legs brushing against his under the table, his hand on your leg, holding hands and sweet kisses. These are the “little things” that develop the day-to-day warmth and bonding that are vital to keeping your relationship strong. Sexual compatibility is a wonderful thing, but it’s not the only thing. If your only physical contact is in the bedroom, investigate that further.
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Your time is too precious to waste even one minute on a relationship that in the end is going to go nowhere. Don’t go looking for problems but keep these subtle signals in the back of your mind!